LYRICS:

Now us goblins don’t often cut much of a figure
Most of Erdreja’s species are notably bigger
When rating by quantity goblins are seemingly ample
But what good is that when we’re all so easy to trample?
Powerful fighters are great yeah they're totally grand
But muscular definition is overrated and bland
Goblins are really the jewel in the crown of your nation
For our physical shortfalls are made up for in imagination

Chorus:
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Cos a goblin is your worst nightmare
We’ll poke out your eyes and pull out your hair
We don’t hit hard but we do it with flair
Oh a goblin is your worst nightmare
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We make big boys cry in the right situation
Put the "oh stop" into intimidation
Stuff scorpions inside your underwear
Oh a goblin is your worst nightmare

Now Boondoggle may have a face that you just want to mangle
But he's not a goblin with whom you’d be happy to tangle
Cos while you’re busy listing all the ways you wish he’d expire
He’s gathered up your nearest and your dearest and set them on fire

Well Granny’s complete lack of scruples is perfectly natural
Cos our racial obsession with sadism’s completely factual
She’s the worst sort of granny for tucking your kids in at bed time
But she’s always on board for committing unspeakable hate crimes

---Chorus!

For us, the unmentionable is totally right
We’ll gather up your shoelaces, an’ tie em up tight
Then trip you into pits, brimming with spikes
Unethical? Maybe. But a total delight

Cruelty so foul you’ll be weak at the knees
Sharp edged rulers and rabid killer bees
Horrible experiments with boiling hot cheese
Cute fluffy puppies that are full of disease

We’ll kidnap your mum and poo in ya beer
We'll cut off ya toes with mirth and with cheer
Blazing hot pokers, introduced to ya rear
Being nasty’s a really great goblin career

---Chorus!

We'll catapult you in the air to see how far you can fly
Shiv you in the dark whilst yelling DIE DIE DIE
We love all of your screaming, we don't know why
We’re super duper serious- we love it when you cry

Vats full of acid and kicks to the shin
Waking up screaming over granny’s evil grin
We'll hide under beds and inside your bins
No low is too for a purple greenskin

---Chorus!

Highly trained seagulls that peck at your face
Total pandemonium all over the place
Seize domination over every other race
By the end of this song this may well be the case

Oh a goblin is your worst nightmare
We’ll completely wreck your life, with love and care
We’ll eviscerate your favourite teddy beeeeeeeaaaar
We’ll take over the egg, it’s time to despaaaaaaaiiiir
You want us on your side in all warfaaaaaaare
Or the goblins will be your worst nightmare

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