LYRICS:

We were asked to perform for the fey of Erdreja
So we did some research into the array-a
Of notable sub-categories and flavours
Identified by their specific behaviours

Kelpies are horses who hang near the water
They gather up children and swim off to slaughter
Selkies are seals who turn into your wife
If you burn their old skin then they'll stay in your life

Brownies are small and they hide like a mouse
If you feed them they help you with jobs in your house
Boggarts will also come into your home
But they'll steal all the things that you think are your own
The help of a pooka is often invaluable
Generally though they're a bit of an animal
Playing the pipes are the reveling fawns
Their goat-footed dancing will churn up your lawn

Spriggans are leafy they grow and they shrink
The lorelei sing you right into the drink
Peat faeries help when you're stuck in a bog
Changelings will sneak in and swap all your sprogs
This idiosyncratic menagerie
Performing their duties so diligently
Arouses a question at which you may scoff
What does a faerie do on their day off?

Redcaps are serious students of fashion
They colour their caps with the blood from their slashing
Gloshteen are made of a horse and a cow
If the weather is stormy they caper and howl
Shoe-making leprechauns like their own company
They'll grant you wishes if you will just let-them-be
Knockers reside in the deepest of mines
They'll tell you of treasure and danger at times

Shellycoats love all their joking and pranks
Fir darrig eat carrion cos they are rank
Bocans will jump you and chop off your legs
Ellyions paddle in boats made of eggs
This idiosyncratic menagerie
Performing their duties so diligently
Arouses a question at which you may scoff
What does a faerie do on their day off?

Don't let the huldrafolk lick your enormity
You'll come away with a minor deformity
Massive and monsterous are the fomor
Except that they don't have their glamour no more
Noble fey are by comparison normal
They mostly like politics and being formal
They don't get forced into peculiar jobs
So if you're a fairy you'd best be a nob!

There's Boggles and buggars and gittos and ghillie dhu
Ashrays and eelays and nixen and neeb-el-loong
Clurichans, mazikeen, salanderee
Wee Pillywiggins and wicked ficti
This idiosyncratic menagerie
Performing their duties so diligently
Arouses a question at which you may scoff
What does a faerie do on their day off?

And we've not even touched on the courts and their styles
The Seelie and Unseelie, Celti and Wild
They're far too confusing so we just won't try
Cos we're not paid enough and we don't want to die...

There's Boggles and buggars and gittos and ghillie dhu
Ashrays and eelays and nixen and neeb-el-loong
Clurichans, mazikeen, salanderee
Wee Pillywiggins and wicked ficti
This idiosyncratic menagerie
Performing their duties so diligently
Arouses a question at which you may scoff
What does a faerie do on their day off?

Yes what does a fairie do on their day off?!

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