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Goblin Sexy Dance

from Purple Shame by Granny and The Boon

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about

A highly erotic musical epic of goblin sensuality (not ripped off The Bricks in anyway, oh no...)

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lyrics

LYRICS:

I was in my cell doing five to eight
When they introduced my new cellmate
With skin as green as gangrene on a frog
He said, "I need to save my goblin hide
Or this time tomorrow I'll be fried
But we need to get past three guards and a dog"

He said, "Close your eyes so you can't see
I'm going to throw a shape or three
My sexy goblin dance will set us free"
And when I opened up my eyes
The dog was bald and paralysed
And the guards had checked into therapy

Chorus:
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Goblin sexy dance - erect a bell tent in your pants
A sexy dance - your retinas won't stand a chance
A sexy dance - what's been seen can't be unseen
It's a sexy dance, sexy dance, sexy dance, sexy dance
Once you've gone green you'll never get clean
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We were out of jail and on the run
When a vampire tried to spoil our fun
She said "I'm going to suck your jugular"
I said "I'm a goblin and he's a goblin
We don't know the first thing about juggling"
And the vampire said "No! I said Jug-u-lar! It's a vein in your neck..."

As the vampire made her move
The goblin got into his groove
A strange look came upon the vampire's face
Her eyes were busting and her loins were lusting
As she gazed at his disgusting thrusting
And exploded into ash and burning lace

---Chorus!

Found a carnival on the edge of town
With a bearded lady and a scary clown
They chased us from the freak show to a tent
We ducked inside for a place to hide
But we were surrounded on all sides
By creatures that were tall and thin and bent

He began to twist and spin
But so did his distorted twin
In the Hall of Mirrors, the goblin met his match
He fell in love with his reflected self
And morphed into a prancing elf
I snuck out and left him in his sticky patch

---Chorus!

Once you've gone green you'll never get clean
Unless you preen like an elven queen

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credits

from Purple Shame, released August 19, 2018
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TRACK CREDITS:

Cover of "Goblin Sexy Dance" by Neil Albrechtsen, Stephen McGreal and Sammo Pinney (aka The Bricks)

Lyric adaptations by Andy Tucker

Performed by:

-- Andy Tucker - Vocals, Guitar

-- Sammi Searle - Vocals, Ukulele, Hideous Goblin Noises

-- Phil Callan - Bass, Percussion

Recorded, produced, mixed and mastered by Phil Callan at Red Banner Studios

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Granny and The Boon image

Granny and The Boon London, UK

The tyrannical Granny Amanita and her long suffering sidekick Boondoggle are maladjusted goblins from the magical world of Erdreja. Born into a life of slavery, they have now tasted sweet freedom and are out to make the most of it!
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Granny and Boondoggle are fictional characters from the Lorien Trust Live Roleplaying System. These songs are based on the peculiar world and stories of that game. ... more

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